It’s time for a third installment of the funniest hacker stock photos. Because I create information security awareness training (and HIPAA security training too), I’m always in the hunt for hacker photos. There are so many absurd ones that I can make enough Funniest Hacker Stock Photo posts to keep pace with Disney in making new Star Wars movies!
So without further ado, here are this year’s pictures:
Hacker Stock Photo #1
This hacker hacks the Amish way — without the use of technology or electricity. Who needs a computer when a good old magnifying glass will suffice? The key to this technique is to be very sneaky. For seasoned hackers who steadfastly believe in doing things the old-fashioned way, this is how it is done! As this hacker says: “Yes, grandson, we had to walk six miles in the snow and hack with magnifying glasses . . . you young folks have it so easy these days!”
Hacker Stock Photo #2
Why use just one magnifying glass when you can use two? Magnifying glasses are really important to read tiny text on computer screens. Figuring out how to enlarge the font in Windows can be tricky, and good hackers figure out “hacks” to make things faster and easier.
Hacker Stock Photo #3
I’m not entirely sure what this guy is doing, but I presume that he’s so good of a hacker than he can hack with the screen facing in the wrong direction. The only problem is that there’s nothing on his computer screen — I think he needs to stop smiling and start working a bit harder.
Hacker Stock Photo #4
In an earlier edition of this series, I commented extensively on hacker gloves. In this edition, it’s time to turn to the masks hackers wear. I’ve always wondered why so many hackers wear masks. Isn’t a good hacker supposed to be hard to trace? After extensive research, I have learned that hackers wear masks because when they hack from halfway across the world and try to conceal their tracks, they might somehow mess up and accidentally expose their faces from their webcams. Or, maybe it’s just a fashion statement. I still have more research to do about this very important question — I’m just waiting for some funding to support this important research.
Regarding the mask above, it’s part of a new trend. Ordinary hackers wear ninja masks, but that’s starting to become a bit passe among hacker fashion experts. Trend leaders are wearing much more elaborate masks these days.
Hacker Stock Photo #5
This mask makes quite a statement! The most popular mask color for hackers is black, but this hacker shows us that orange is the new black! Not all hackers need to look like ninjas or dementors — they can look like Jack O’Lanterns!
Hacker Stock Photo #6
This hacker needs no mask because he has no face. He appears to be a jacket with hands. So many hackers are just empty hoodies. Interior decorators will notice the beautiful binary wallpaper, which is quite trendy in the more upscale hacker basements.
Also, have you ever noticed that nearly all hackers are very slumped over? A good way to spot a hacker: Look for anyone who is really hunchbacked. The worse the posture, the more likely a person is a hacker.
Hacker Stock Photo #7
It’s a bird . . . It’s a plane . . . No . . . It’s Super Hacker! Yes, Marvel appears to have reached the very bottom of its superhero list. Expect a trilogy of movies starting this summer.
Hacker Stock Photo #8
If you’re going to wear a mask, at least put it on correctly. I hear the collective gasps of hacker fashion experts around the wold!
Hacker Stock Photo #9
Yes, kiddos, I’m sorry to tell you the bad news: Santa is really a hacker. Ever wonder how Santa knows who is naughty or nice? You thought it was a vast network of elf spies. Then it was hypothesized that Santa was using Big Data. But no . . . Santa is a hacker. He’s watching you through your webcam.
I’m not quite sure why a hacker needs a gun, but it sure is scary. Hackers used to just sneak a peak at your information. Then they started sending viruses to crash computers. Then they started encrypting files and demanding ransom. And now they can shoot you dead over the Internet if you have a broadband connection. That’s right, you can open your computer and a hacker and fire a bullet at you from out of the computer screen. We need gun control pronto!
Hacker Stock Photo #10
Now this hacker is just too cool for school!
Hacker Stock Photo #11
This is one scary hacker mask! Or maybe this guy has just been hacking for too long without sleep. The coffee should hopefully wake him up and revive his energy. I’m not quite sure how he can drink the coffee in that mask, but he must have figured out a way.
Or maybe it really is the Grim Reaper? it used to be that the only things that are inevitable are death and taxes, but these days, it’s being hacked and taxes. Maybe the Grim Reaper has changed his profession. You’ll live forever but spend every moment of your infinite life grappling with hacking incidents.
Hacker Stock Photo #12
I have no words . . .
Actually, I do have some thoughts.
Some look at a photo like this and ask: Why? Why does this photo even exist? But others ask: Why not? After all, the creator of this photo will wake up tomorrow morning and discover to his or her great glee that some fool (me) has bought it!
What is going on here? Is this is an advanced hi-tech machine that enables this guy to hack with his mind? Do they have a wireless version? Or is this an attempt at fashion — a steampunk hacker costume? His shiny jacket and thick goggles are certainly hacker fashion risks, but good hackers take fashion risks. Thank goodness for the hacker warning notice, or this guy might go totally undetected and be mistaken for a professional in the office.
Previous Funniest Hacker Stock Photos Posts
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This post was authored by Professor Daniel J. Solove, who through TeachPrivacy develops computer-based privacy training, data security training, HIPAA training, and many other forms of awareness training on privacy and security topics. Professor Solove also posts at his blog at LinkedIn. His blog has more than 1 million followers.
Professor Solove is the organizer, along with Paul Schwartz of the Privacy + Security Forum (Oct. 4-7, 2017 in Washington, DC), an annual event that aims to bridge the silos between privacy and security.
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